“When you live with people, you know them better than you
care to.” Ben (John Lithgow) says to his husband George (Alfred Molina) over
the phone near the middle of Ira Sachs’ “Love is Strange.” After spending
twenty years together the two have finally gotten a chance to marry, but before
they can start celebrating George loses his job as a music teacher at a
Catholic school. They can’t afford to stay in their current Manhattan apartment
so they’re living separate from each other with friends and family.
“Love is Strange” is a mature, sometimes funny, sometimes
moving dramedy about—among other things—how even loved ones can sometimes be a
burden on one another. Especially when they suddenly need to move in. How many
times have you said to someone: “if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”
It’s such an easy, nice thing to say but when the time actually comes, when
someone wants to utilize your offer of help, you may have to help them, and you
may not be all that happy about it. Even if the person who comes for help is a
loved one.
This is essentially what happens in the movie; Ben and
George are surrounded by a group of loving friends and family who have nothing
but nice things to say. One of them, a writer named Kate (Marisa Tomei) even
gives a toast at their wedding reception, saying that they’re an inspiration to
all. But then, when they suddenly need places to crash while they find a
cheaper apartment, their friends and family are hesitant at first. They’re not
bad people, they mean well and they want to help but it’s also a huge burden to
take someone in, especially when you live in a small Manhattan apartment.
In this regard, “Love is Strange” is also about disruption
of lifestyles. Ben and George have been living together comfortably and happily
for twenty years and now they have to live apart, in crammed apartments far
away from each other. Ben lives with Kate and her husband Elliot (Darren E
Burrows), a filmmaker, and their son Joey (Charlie Tahan), while George lives
with a younger gay couple, who like to throw parties that go late into the
night. Considering George sleeps on the couch, this is a problem. And meanwhile
over at Kate and Elliot’s, Ben becomes a mini nuisance. During one day he won’t
stop talking to Kate, preventing her from getting any writing done. And
Joey—having to share a bunk bed with him—isn’t so happy with the arrangement
either. The arrangement also begins to highlight other relationship problems
and tensions; we start to see cracks in Kate and Elliot’s relationship.
As the title suggests, love is a strange, strange beast.
Often times the people you love are the people you can’t stand. It’s easy to
tell someone that you care about them and offer help in a get-together
situation but when you actually have to live together in close quarters,
problems can occur. Going back to Ben’s quote, sometimes you can see too much
of people. Fortunately, Sachs doesn’t let “Love is Strange” turn into melodrama;
there are some tense altercations near the end but for the most part all of these
feelings and emotions I’m talking about are kept below the character’s surface.
The driving force behind the picture is the genuine,
effortless performances from Lithgow and Molina. The two convincingly play an
upbeat couple that have lived and strived for two decades. Even with this
sudden real-estate change, the two do their best to keep a cheerful façade. But
you can also detect the unhappiness under their breath. They don’t want to live
separately and in the lives of other people. The two share a number of poignant
moments together; most notably the scene when they reunite after weeks of being
apart. George’s roommates are throwing another late night party, so he goes
over to Kate and Elliot’s, breaking down in Ben’s arms. They then spend the
night together in one of the compact bunk beds, tenderly holding one another.
Overall, “Love is Strange” is a patient, understated movie
about love. It doesn’t go for big emotional scenes or heated arguments among
its characters. It’s amusing but it’s never laugh out loud funny. There are sad
moments but the movie never becomes very downbeat. George is fired from his
teaching job because of his sexuality but the film never turns into an
indictment against the Catholic Church and Sachs doesn’t make him into a spiteful
character. There are a lot of pleasant, graceful shots of New York City paired
with Chopin compositions to underscore this subtlety and maturity.
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